Why They Don’t Pick You: The Hidden Rules That Shape Leadership Trust (with Laura Patterson)

Why They Don’t Pick You, and What You Can Do About It

There’s a painful moment that so many women in tech leadership quietly carry.

You do the work.

You excel.

You deliver.

And still… you’re not the one they pick.

This episode of From a Woman to a Leader dives into exactly why that happens, and how to change it, with the brilliant Laura Patterson, CEO, author, and customer-centric growth strategist.

And there’s a moment in the episode I can’t stop thinking about.

Laura shares a conversation she once had with her boss a moment of raw honesty many of us have never been given:

“I’m not 100% sure you’d make the same decision I would make.

I know how the others will decide.

With you, I’m not sure yet.”

It hits you right in the gut.

Because it reveals something we rarely talk about.

Being passed over isn’t always about skill.

It’s often about trust.

Trust in your decision-making.

Trust in your judgment.

Trust in your leadership voice.

And that trust isn’t built by working harder.

It’s built by showing your thinking, communicating differently, and stepping into the kind of visibility most women were never taught to cultivate.

That’s precisely what this episode explores.

What You’ll Learn in This Episode

This isn’t a checklist.

This is a mindset shift, one that changes how people see you.

👉 Why excellent work isn’t enough to get you chosen

👉 How leaders really evaluate decision-making at higher levels

👉 How to build trust as a strategic leader — not just a strong executor

👉 The hidden rules behind influence, visibility, and authority

👉 How to communicate so people believe in your ability to lead

👉 Why relationships, not output, often determine who gets the opportunity

If you’ve ever wondered, “Why them, not me?”

This episode gives you an honest, compassionate, and deeply practical answer.

Why This Matters for Women in Tech

Women, especially in engineering, product, and data roles, often assume that:

✔ If I do excellent work

✔ If I deliver consistently

✔ If I never drop a ball

…then people will naturally see my leadership potential.

But leadership roles aren’t assigned based on deliverables.

They’re assigned based on trust in your judgment when no one is watching.

Laura brings two decades of experience across sales, CRM, strategy, analytics, and executive leadership — and she breaks down exactly how trust is built, earned, and communicated.

This episode will help you:

✨ Understand why trust gaps happen

✨ Identify what’s missing in how you show up

✨ Build a strategic presence that makes people say,

“Yes. She’s ready.”

Listen & Watch

🎧 Listen to the full episode:

https://limorbergman.com/podcast/

▶️ Watch on YouTube:

If you want deeper reflections, behind-the-scenes stories, leadership frameworks, and worksheets —

subscribe to my Substack:

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https://limorbergman.substack.com

About Laura Patterson

Laura Patterson is a globally recognized expert in customer-centric growth, strategy, and performance management. With 25+ years of experience guiding companies worldwide, she brings a rare blend of practicality, data-driven insight, and deeply human leadership wisdom.

She is the CEO of VisionEdge Marketing, a four-time author, international speaker, and host of the What’s Your Edge? podcast.

Connect with Laura

🔗 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/laurapattersonvem/

🌐 Website: https://visionedgemarketing.com

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@VisionEdgeMarketing

📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/texasmarketing1/

🐦 Twitter/X: https://x.com/VisionEdgeMktg

📘 Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/marketingtransformation

🎤 eSpeakers: https://www.espeakers.com/marketplace/profile/40908/laura-patterson

About Me

I’m Limor Bergman Gross — Executive Coach for Women in Tech, former Director of Engineering, speaker, podcaster, and champion for women who want to lead with confidence, visibility, and strategic influence.

If you’re ready to grow your leadership identity, influence without burning out, and get recognized for the leader you already are, you’re in the right place.

📌 LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/limorbergman/

📝 Substack: https://limorbergman.substack.com

🎙 Podcast Hub: https://limorbergman.com/podcast

▶️ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@limorbergman