How To Claim Your Seat At The Table When You Feel Like An Imposter

If you have ever walked into a meeting, looked around the room, and wondered, “Do I really deserve to be here?” you are not alone.

So many women in tech and engineering quietly live with that feeling. They work hard, deliver results, and still question whether they truly belong at the table.

In a recent episode of From a Woman to a Leader, I sat down with Sheila Buswell to talk about exactly that.

Sheila is the CEO and Co-Founder of Buswell Biomedical, a US Army veteran, mechanical and biomedical engineer, and the author of Is This Seat For Me? Overcoming Imposter Syndrome in Everyday Life and Business.

Our conversation was honest, funny, and deeply validating for anyone who has ever felt like an imposter.

From Generator Mechanic To Corporate Engineer

Sheila’s career did not start in a typical way.

After losing a scholarship that paid for her engineering degree, she joined the US Army and became a generator mechanic. She often found herself as the only woman in the shop, responsible for keeping the power and heat on.

What surprised me was how she described the culture.

In the military, most people did not care what she looked like or whether she fit a stereotype. They cared whether she could fix the generator. It was, in her words, “more of a meritocracy.”

That experience gave her something priceless: a deep belief that she could do hard things and that she was capable.

When she moved into corporate engineering roles, she expected the same. Instead, she was told not to be “so girly” if she wanted to be taken seriously. Suddenly she was being labeled, judged, and put into boxes she had never asked for.

Knowing You Deserve Your Seat

One of my favorite parts of our conversation was when Sheila said she always knew she belonged at every table she sat at. The real question, she joked, was whether everyone else deserved to sit at a table with her.

That might sound bold, but there is a powerful message underneath.

Before you can convince anyone else that you deserve to be there, you have to convince yourself.

This is a big part of imposter syndrome. We wait for external validation. We collect degrees, certifications, and achievements hoping that one day the feeling will go away. But the inner voice stays.

Sheila describes this inner critic as a monster under the bed that whispers every insecurity you have ever had. It does not disappear as you get more senior. You simply get better at noticing it and talking back.

Five Personal Solutions For Imposter Syndrome

In her book, Sheila shares five personal solutions that helped her work with imposter syndrome. We walked through several of them in the episode.

Remember your past experiences

Keep a mental (or physical) list of times you did hard things and succeeded. When self doubt shows up, remind yourself: “I have done difficult things before. I can do this too.”
Stop comparing yourself to others

As I shared on the show, comparison is the enemy of confidence. We tend to compare only in areas where we feel behind and ignore all the ways we are strong. We also forget that people are at different stages of their journey.
Give yourself grace

You do not have to be perfect to be valuable. Sheila calls herself a “recovering perfectionist” and points out that we do not expect our friends to be perfect. Why do we demand it from ourselves?
Talk to yourself positively

Negative self talk can start from something tiny and spiral quickly. Catch the story early. Ask: “Would I say this to someone I care about?” If not, it does not belong in your head either.
Keep things in perspective

Sheila shared a piece of wisdom from her grandmother: “Will this matter in a year?” Some things truly do matter. Many do not. Learning to tell the difference can give you back so much energy and peace.

Respect Over Being Liked

Another theme that really resonated with me is the tension between wanting to be liked and wanting to be respected.

Many women in leadership positions feel pressure to be nice, agreeable, and always available. We want everyone to like us. But when we always say yes and constantly try to please, people often respect us less, not more.

Sheila put it simply: not everyone will love you. You are not ice cream.

Instead of chasing approval, we can aim for respect. That means setting boundaries, saying what needs to be said, and making decisions that are right for the team, not just popular.

You Are Not Alone

At the end of our conversation, Sheila said the main reason she wrote her book was to help people understand that they are not alone.

Imposter syndrome is not a personal flaw. It is a common human experience that shows up in different ways and at different times. Talking about it openly is the first step in loosening its grip.

If you are a woman in tech or engineering who feels like you are doing everything right and still not getting the recognition you deserve, I want you to hear this:

You deserve your seat at the table.

You are enough, even as you keep learning and growing.

And you definitely are not alone.

Listen and Go Deeper

You can listen to the full episode with Sheila Buswell on your favorite podcast app or watch it on YouTube. All the links are in the show notes.

If you want more practical tools and honest stories about growing your career without burning out, join my Substack community and subscribe to the From a Woman to a Leader podcast.

Your next level starts with believing that you belong in the room you are already in.

About Sheila Buswell

She is the CEO and Co-Founder of Buswell Biomedical, a veteran of the US Army, and the author of Is This Seat For Me? Overcoming Imposter Syndrome in Everyday Life and Business. In her book, Sheila shares her personal experiences with impostor syndrome, as well the stories of a diverse group of accomplished individuals who struggled with self-doubt but found ways to overcome it. She hopes to help others who feel limited by their beliefs experience more freedom and realize they are enough.

Connect with Shiela:

Website: ⁠http://www.buswellbiomedical.com/⁠

LinkedIn: ⁠http://www.linkedin.com/in/sheilabuswellbiomedical⁠

Book: ⁠https://www.amazon.com/this-Seat-Me-Overcoming-Imposter/dp/1959555669⁠