Have you ever felt misunderstood by your boss or struggled to communicate with a manager who doesn’t seem to get your perspective? You’re not alone! One of the most valuable (and often challenging) skills we can build in our careers is learning how to influence others—especially our managers—without needing to be the loudest in the room.
In a recent episode of From a Woman to a Leader, I had the pleasure of speaking with leadership expert Daria Rudnik, who shared insightful, practical tips on mastering influence in the workplace. Her approach isn’t about pushing your agenda forcefully or making a scene; instead, it’s about using curiosity, empathy, and strategic communication to get your message across.
Let’s dive into some of the highlights from this episode, and I encourage you to listen to the full episode to hear all of Daria’s tips on building influence effectively. You might be surprised by how much impact you can make—quietly!
Why Influence Matters in Your Career
Before we jump into the “how,” let’s talk about why influence matters. Influence is a powerful skill that can open doors to new opportunities, improve your working relationships, and even increase your job satisfaction. When we have a positive influence on others—especially on our managers and other key stakeholders—we create a smoother path to achieve our goals and contribute meaningfully to our teams.
But here’s the challenge: influence isn’t about being loud, aggressive, or trying to “win” every conversation. It’s about building trust and credibility so that others naturally want to listen to us. And, as Daria points out, sometimes the best influence is quiet influence.
Key Takeaways from Daria Rudnik on Mastering Influence
Daria shared some brilliant strategies on the podcast, and here are a few that stood out.
1. Curiosity First: Seek to Understand Before Being Understood
One of the biggest mistakes we can make in conversations with our managers is jumping straight into our agenda. Daria encourages us to start with curiosity instead. When your boss suggests an idea or perspective you don’t agree with, pause and ask why.
Maybe there’s a reason behind their thinking that you haven’t considered, or perhaps they have additional information you’re not aware of. By taking time to understand their perspective, you’re not only showing respect but also building a stronger foundation for your relationship.
This principle aligns beautifully with Dale Carnegie’s classic advice in How to Win Friends and Influence People, where he advises us to “seek first to understand, then to be understood.” When you lead with curiosity, your boss is more likely to be open to your ideas.
2. Avoid Arguments and Focus on Value
When you disagree with your boss, it can be tempting to push back or explain why you think they’re wrong. But as Daria highlights, this approach rarely leads to a productive outcome. Instead, she suggests focusing on what value you can bring to the conversation.
For example, if your boss proposes an idea that you see as risky, don’t jump straight into why it won’t work. Instead, calmly identify any risks you foresee, ask if they’re comfortable with those risks, and offer alternative suggestions. This way, you’re providing value and solutions without creating a confrontational environment.
As Carnegie also says, “Show respect for the other person’s opinions. Never say, ‘You’re wrong.’” By focusing on value rather than confrontation, you’re more likely to influence effectively.
3. Communicate with Intent and Preparation
Daria shares a fantastic strategy for influencing without being loud: preparation. If you’re invited to a meeting where you want your voice to be heard, reach out to the organizer or key stakeholders beforehand. Let them know what you plan to share, ask for their feedback, and see if there’s anything specific they’d like you to prepare.
This step not only makes sure your contribution is aligned with the team’s goals, but it also signals that you’re invested in bringing real value to the conversation. When you show up to the meeting, people already know what to expect from you—and they’re more likely to listen because they’ve been involved in shaping what you’ll say.
This idea echoes Carnegie’s advice on helping others feel involved. By inviting others into your process early, you’re creating allies who are invested in your success.
4. Remember: You Win When Your Boss Wins
Daria makes an important point: your success in influencing isn’t about “winning” the argument or proving yourself right. It’s about finding ways to support your boss in achieving their goals. When your boss feels supported and understands that you’re invested in their success, they’re more likely to listen to your input and see you as a valuable team member.
In many ways, this approach reflects a shift from seeing influence as a means to an end to seeing it as a way to build trust, collaboration, and mutual respect.
Why This Matters for Your Career
Building influence through empathy, curiosity, and thoughtful communication is more than just a strategy—it’s a game-changer. Not only can it help you build a stronger relationship with your boss, but it can also position you as a leader, no matter what your job title is.
If you’re curious to dive deeper into Daria’s strategies and hear more about her experiences navigating tough boss relationships, I invite you to listen to the full episode. There’s so much valuable insight here, and I truly believe it can make a difference in how you approach your workplace relationships.
🎧 Listen to the full episode here: https://limorbergman.com/podcast/
About Daria:
Ex-Deloitte, former Chief People Officer for Tech and Telecom companies with 15+ years of international executive experience. Team and Leadership coach specializing in leadership development and team effectiveness for remote and hybrid teams. Board member for the World Ethics Organization and Founder of an EdTech Startup Aidra.AI
Follow Daria on LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/dariarudnik/
Visit her website: https://aidra.ai/
