Read the full breakdown of this conversation: Laid Off and Taking It Personally? Eye on the Donut, Not on the Hole — the key insights, my take from the coaching seat, and the full transcript.
You already know the layoff wasn’t about you. So why have you replayed the conversation forty times, looking for the thing you did wrong?
Marjie Hadad has spent decades helping leaders communicate through crises, and her advice starts somewhere most people skip. Give yourself fifteen minutes to feel absolutely terrible about it. Set the timer. Feel all of it. Then take a breath, brush yourself off, and look at the donut instead of the hole.
In this episode, we get into what that actually looks like when it’s your job, your client, or feedback that landed badly.
What you’ll take away:
- Why fifteen minutes of feeling awful is not weakness; it’s the step that lets you move
- What your kids and your colleagues learn from watching how you handle bad news
- How to tell the difference between the message and the way someone delivered it
- Marjie’s imaginary filtering earplugs, and why she has used them for decades
- Why going silent is sometimes the strongest thing you can do in a room
I also share something I have not talked about much: the day I joined a Zoom call with my manager, saw HR already sitting there, and knew. My first thought was not about me. It was about how to make it easier on him. Marjie has a name for that, and it surprised me.
Chapters:
(00:00) Welcome and why layoffs hurt
(02:38) Eye on the donut, not the hole
(04:02) The card from Aunt Nancy
(05:40) Take 15 minutes, then move
(06:32) Everyone is watching how you cope
(08:09) Why we take it personally
(09:50) Freak out, freeze, or chill
(11:29) Saying it out loud: it sucks
(12:16) My layoff: HR was already there
(13:48) Marjie’s kids and ”job schmob”
(15:07) ”Everything IS personal”
(16:27) Feedback is a gift
(18:15) Imaginary filtering earplugs
(19:56) When you don’t handle it well
(21:55) You can’t argue with a wall
(23:52) The Confident Kid Playbook
(24:55) Eye on the donut
About Marjie:
Marjie Hadad is a crisis and leadership communications expert who has spent decades in media and PR. She is a former TV news reporter and anchor, an award-winning TV producer, and the founder of Marjie Hadad Communications. Her new book is The Confident Kid Playbook.
Connect with Marjie:
Website: https://www.marjiehadad.com
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/marjiehadad-crisis-leadership-keynote-speaker-consultant/
Book: https://www.amazon.com/Confident-Kid-Playbook-Successful-Competitive/dp/B0GZKZS586/
Connect with Limor:
Website: https://limorbergman.com
Podcast: https://limorbergman.com/podcast/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/limorbergman/
Substack: https://limorbergman.substack.com
Recorded at the Google for Startups studio in Tel Aviv. Thank you to Google for Startups for hosting us.
Searches this episode answers: what to do after being laid off, how to not take a layoff personally, how to handle criticism at work without falling apart, how to stay calm during a crisis at work, what to say when you get let go, how to stop replaying a difficult conversation.