You’re the first one in and the last one out. Your calendar is back-to-back. You eat lunch while walking to your next meeting. And every week you tell yourself, “I just need to get through this one.”
But what if the way you’re working isn’t just unsustainable? What if it’s actually making you less effective, less appreciated, and less yourself?
In this episode of From a Woman to a Leader, I sat down with Rachael Edmondson-Clarke, a sustainable high-performance expert who spent over 20 years in corporate leadership at companies like Mars. She had the glass-fronted office, the company car, the team, the title. On paper, she was the definition of success.
Then one day, she collapsed on her office floor from a panic attack.
What followed was a complete rethinking of how she worked, how she lived, and what she was actually here to do. In our conversation, Rachael shared the specific warning signs she ignored for over two years, why rest is not a reward but a critical input to high performance, and the five steps she used to find her life’s mission.
🎧 Listen to the full episode: https://limorbergman.com/podcast/
1. What Are the Warning Signs of Burnout That Women Miss?
Burnout doesn’t usually arrive as a single dramatic moment. It builds quietly, disguised as dedication.
Rachael identified several specific signs she missed over a period of 18 to 24 months before her collapse:
She was the first and last person in the office every day. In a building with over 500 people, she was switching the lights on in the morning and switching them off at night. She was aware of it on some level, but it didn’t register as a problem.
She was eating on the go. Running between meetings, shoveling food while walking, never taking five or ten minutes to sit down and actually eat. When you can’t even give yourself ten minutes to eat a meal, that’s a sign.
Her calendar was back-to-back all day. The only time she had to do actual work was after everyone else had gone home. Her meetings consumed her entire day, and instead of pushing back or declining, she just stayed later.
She delayed her wedding. Twice. This is the one that still shocks me. Rachael was so consumed by work that she pushed back her own wedding not once but twice. “I was too busy at work to get married this year, again,” she told me. “Like, that’s just bonkers.”
Her body was showing signs of physical stress. She now recognizes that eczema around her eyes and lips, swelling, and soreness are her body’s early warning signals. When those appear, she knows something needs to change.
How to apply this
If you recognize yourself in two or more of these, that’s not a productivity problem. That’s your body trying to tell you something.
Do a quick audit of your last two weeks:
How many days did you eat lunch at your desk or while walking?
How many evenings did you work past 7pm?
How many personal plans did you reschedule because of work?
The answers will tell you where you are.
2. Why Is Rest a Critical Input to Performance, Not a Reward?
This was the most powerful reframe from our entire conversation. Rachael said:
“Rest and restoration are not the reward for hard work. They are a critical input to you being able to show up and perform at your best.”
This isn’t just an opinion. Rachael has been working with Professor Chris Beady, Professor of Evolutionary Anthropology, Cognition and Neuroscience at Oxford and Kent Universities, who has spent 25-30 years studying the relationship between mood, energy, and sustainable high performance.
The research is clear: we do not sustainably perform at our best unless we are restoring our mood and energy. These aren’t soft metrics. They are clinically predictive of both mental health and performance outcomes.
And yet, so many of us wear busyness like a badge of honor. I used to have a manager who was proud that he never took time off. His wife had to force him to take Christmas break. That’s not dedication. That’s a culture problem.
How to apply this
Stop treating rest as something you earn after the work is done. Start treating it as something you need before the work begins.
Block 30 minutes of restoration time in your calendar every day this week. It doesn’t have to be meditation or a nap. It can be a walk, a real lunch break, or 30 minutes with no screens. Protect that time the same way you’d protect a meeting with your VP.
3. How Do You Set Boundaries at Work Without Being Seen as Difficult?
One of the most powerful examples from Rachael’s story was her mum.
Rachael’s mum ran a franchise of hair and beauty salons and was the only woman on the board of directors in the 1980s and 90s. She operated in a male-dominated boardroom, and she was deeply respected. How? She was kind, she was fair, and in Rachael’s words, “she didn’t take any shit.”
Rachael described her mum as someone who maintained firm boundaries while leading with authenticity and alignment to her values. People didn’t respect her in spite of her boundaries. They respected her because of them.
This is where so many women get stuck. We think we have to choose between being kind and accommodating and being firm and disliked. But that’s a false choice.
Here’s what I see again and again with the women I coach: the ones who set boundaries and protect their energy are the ones who get ahead. Not the ones who say yes to everything.
Rachael shared a simple but powerful tactic: instead of immediately saying yes to a request, ask one question: “When do you need this by?” Most of the time, it’s not as urgent as you assumed.
How to apply this
This week, practice the “when do you need this by?” question at least three times. When someone sends you an urgent request, pause before responding and ask. Notice how often the answer is “actually, next week is fine.”
If you want to go further, do a calendar audit. Look at your meetings from the last two weeks. For each one, ask: Did I need to be there? Could I have attended just part of it? Could someone on my team have gone instead? Be ruthless about protecting your time.
4. What Happens When You Finally Listen to the Whisper?
After her collapse, Rachael didn’t make an immediate change. But one morning in the shower, she heard what she describes as “a whisper on her heart.”
It wasn’t the first time she’d heard it. But it was the first time she turned to it and asked: what are you trying to tell me?
“I made a decision in that moment that I didn’t want to have a job or a career anymore, but I wanted to have a life’s mission, something that I could jump out of bed for every single day for the rest of my life.”
She spent the next three years exploring, with excitement and possibility, anything that lit her heart up. She retrained. She took courses. She watched documentaries. She journaled. She worked with coaches.
She started with health coaching, initially just for herself. She transformed her own energy, dropped two dress sizes, and people at work started noticing. “Rachael, what are you doing? I want some of what you’ve got.” She ended up fully booked as a health coach on evenings and weekends while still working her corporate job.
Then the universe seemed to test her commitment: she was offered a redundancy package, and right before she signed the paperwork, she found out she was pregnant.
“It was life really, truly testing me. Like, OK, you’ve said you want this. Here’s the opportunity. Now, do you really want this?”
She did. And over ten years later, she runs Elevar, helping leaders perform at their best without burning out.
How to apply this
You don’t need to quit your job tomorrow. But if there’s a whisper you’ve been ignoring, start giving it attention.
Write down the answer to this question: “If I could do anything and money wasn’t a factor, what would I want my days to look like?” You don’t need to act on the answer immediately. Just write it down. Awareness is the first step.
5. What Are the Five Steps to Finding Your Life’s Purpose After Burnout?
During COVID, Rachael reflected on the three-year journey that led her from corporate to her life’s mission. She identified five steps:
Step 1: Commit to your dream. Fend off the fear and limiting beliefs. That voice telling you “don’t get too far ahead of yourself” is a protector, not a prophet. You have to listen to the whisper, not the fear.
Step 2: Get clear on your compelling future. Rachael visualized what her future looked like in detail. She could almost experience it. The clearer the picture, the stronger the pull.
Step 3: Explore with excitement and possibility. Don’t be afraid to try things. Some will be dead ends. That’s fine. Even dead ends teach you something. Peer through doorways. See what lights you up.
Step 4: Build the bridge. Create a transition plan that fits your circumstances. Rachael’s looked like building a part-time coaching practice while still employed, then taking the redundancy offer when it came. Your bridge will look different. The point is to walk over it confidently, not leap blindly.
Step 5: Never stop evolving. “You and I are not the same women we were last week, let alone 10 years ago.” Keep investing in your growth, your development, and your own journey.
How to apply this
If you’re in the early stages (step 1 or 2), start by journaling on what your compelling future looks like. If you’re further along (step 3 or 4), identify one thing you could explore or test this month. If you’re already on the other side (step 5), ask yourself: what’s the next evolution?
Why the Hardest-Working Women Are Often the Least Appreciated
There’s a pattern I see in my coaching practice that connects directly to Rachael’s story. I call it the Appreciation Paradox.
When you say yes to everything and never push back, you don’t signal dedication. You signal that your time isn’t valuable. And if you don’t value your own time, your manager won’t either.
The women who get ahead aren’t the ones who work the hardest. They’re the ones who set boundaries, protect their energy, and are known for the quality and impact of what they deliver, not their availability.
Rachael’s mum understood this instinctively. She was kind, fair, and held her boundaries. Rachael herself learned it the hard way, through a panic attack on her office floor and years of recovery.
You don’t have to learn it the hard way.
🎧 Listen to the full conversation with Rachael: https://limorbergman.com/podcast/
Or watch on YouTube:
🎧 Listen to my solo episode on The Appreciation Paradox [Airs on Friday, April 3rd]: https://limorbergman.com/podcast/
📝 Read my personal essay on this topic: The Trip I Never Took
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself in these patterns, if you’ve been saying yes to everything, working harder than anyone around you, and wondering why it’s not translating into the recognition or career progression you deserve, this is exactly what I help women work through.
I coach women in tech and engineering leadership who are high-performers, the ones doing everything right on paper, but stuck in the cycle of over-giving and under-recognition. Together we work on visibility, boundaries, self-advocacy, and building a career where your effort matches your outcomes.
If that’s you, book a promotion strategy call and let’s figure out your next move: Book a strategy call
About Rachael Edmondson-Clarke
Rachael Edmondson-Clarke is the founder of Elevar and a sustainable high-performance expert. After 20+ years in corporate leadership at companies like Mars, she now helps leaders perform at their best without burning out. She combines psychology, neuroscience, and behavioural science, and has been collaborating with Professor Chris Beady at Oxford and Kent Universities on the science of mood, energy, and sustainable performance.
Website: https://www.ellevar.co.uk/
Linktree: https://linktr.ee/RachaelEdmondsonClarke
Frequently Asked Questions
What are the warning signs of burnout in high-performing women? The most common warning signs include a calendar that’s booked back to back with no time for actual work, eating on the go instead of taking real breaks, consistently being the first one in and last one out, pushing back personal milestones (like vacations, events, or time with family) because of work, and physical stress responses like skin issues, headaches, or trouble sleeping. The danger is that these signs often feel like “normal” dedication rather than red flags.
Why does working harder make you less appreciated at work? When you say yes to everything and never push back, you signal that your time isn’t valuable. Everyone adjusts to your over-availability as the baseline, and then when you can’t maintain it, your manager notices the dip rather than appreciating what you’ve been doing all along. Setting boundaries actually raises your perceived value because it signals that your time and expertise are worth protecting.
How do you set boundaries at work without damaging relationships? Start with one simple question when someone makes a request: “When do you need this by?” Most requests aren’t as urgent as they feel. You can also do a calendar audit to identify meetings you don’t need to attend, delegate tasks that don’t require your specific expertise, and communicate your focus time clearly through status messages. Being kind and being firm are not opposites.
Is rest really important for high performance at work? Yes, and it’s backed by science. Research by Professor Chris Beady at Oxford and Kent Universities shows that mood and energy are clinically predictive of both mental health and performance outcomes. We do not sustainably perform at our best unless we are actively restoring our mood and energy. Rest is not the reward for hard work. It’s a critical input that makes high performance possible.
How do you find your purpose after burning out? Rachael Edmondson-Clarke identifies five steps: commit to your dream by fending off fear and limiting beliefs, get clear on what your compelling future looks like, explore with excitement and possibility by trying different things without fear of dead ends, build a bridge between where you are and where you want to be with a practical transition plan, and never stop evolving because growth is continuous.
How do you know when it’s time to leave your job? If you’ve tried setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and seeking support but the environment remains unsupportive or toxic, it may be time to consider a change. Warning signs include a manager who doesn’t support your growth, a culture that punishes rest or boundary-setting, persistent physical stress symptoms, and the feeling that no matter what you do it’s never enough. Sometimes the bravest boundary you can set is walking away.
What is the Appreciation Paradox? The Appreciation Paradox is the pattern where the more you give without boundaries, the less you’re valued. Women who say yes to everything, work overtime consistently, and never push back often end up being taken for granted rather than appreciated. Flipping this pattern by setting boundaries, focusing on high-impact work, and being known for quality rather than availability actually increases how much you’re valued.
How can women in tech avoid burnout while advancing their careers? Focus on being intentional and strategic rather than just working harder. Set clear boundaries around your time, do regular calendar audits, communicate your career aspirations to your manager and support network, invest in coaching or mentoring, protect restoration time as seriously as you protect meeting time, and remember that you don’t need to be 100% ready to take the next step in your career.