Negotiating for a raise, promotion, or a new role can feel overwhelming, especially if fear of failure is holding you back.
Based on my inspiring conversation with Merve Hokamp, executive coach and former Google leader, this blog explores practical strategies to help you overcome fear, build confidence, and negotiate effectively.
Meet Merve Hokamp: A Global Perspective on Leadership
Merve Hokamp’s journey is a testament to embracing opportunities.
Originally from Istanbul, Turkey, Merve has studied and worked across the globe, including in the U.S., France, Austria, and Singapore.
Now based in Dublin, she combines her multicultural experiences with her expertise in leadership, strategy consulting, and coaching to help individuals unlock their potential.
The Fear That Holds Us Back
For many, fear of failure is the biggest barrier to asking for what we want—whether it’s a promotion, a new role, or even a bold request.
Merve shared this insight:
“Women often ask, ‘Am I good enough? Do I deserve this?’ Men, on the other hand, focus on external factors like market data or competition.”
This mindset difference highlights the need for women to shift focus from self-doubt to recognizing their unique strengths and contributions.
Reframing Challenges as Opportunities
Merve shared her story of transitioning into management at Google, a role she wasn’t initially qualified for on paper.
Instead of seeing organizational changes as roadblocks, she viewed them as opportunities to grow and lead.
“Look for open doors, or even gently push on closed ones. Challenges can become stepping stones if you choose to see them that way.”
Pro Tip: Build relationships and seek sponsors who can advocate for you. Visibility isn’t about showing off; it’s about showcasing the value you bring to your team and organization.
Negotiation: Why Women Must Speak Up
Women often shy away from advocating for themselves, fearing they’ll come across as aggressive or boastful. Merve challenges this notion:
“Talking about your strengths is not bragging. It’s about helping others see the value you bring.”
The 10-Nos Exercise
One of the standout strategies Merve shared is the 10-Nos Exercise:
- Challenge yourself to get 10 “no” responses to bold requests.
- Ask for things that seem out of reach—whether it’s a business-class upgrade, a salary raise, or extra resources for a project.
- The lesson? You’ll discover that people say “yes” more often than you expect, and rejection becomes less intimidating over time.
Why This Works:
- It builds resilience.
- It helps you realize that rejection isn’t the end of the world.
- It opens unexpected opportunities—even a “no” can lead to valuable alternatives.
Confidence vs. Humility: Finding the Balance
Merve emphasized the importance of balancing humility with confidence. Many women feel they need to wait for permission to lead or succeed. Instead, Merve suggests:
“Don’t wait for someone to hand you an opportunity. Step up, offer value, and create your own path.”
Practical Tips to Take Away
- Identify Your Strengths: Reflect on what makes you unique and valuable.
- Be Proactive: Don’t wait for opportunities to come to you—seek them out.
- Practice Asking: Use the 10-Nos Exercise to build your confidence.
- Reframe Challenges: Instead of seeing obstacles, look for opportunities to grow.
- Build Relationships: Cultivate a network of allies and sponsors who can advocate for you.
Ready to Take Control of Your Career?
Merve’s insights are a powerful reminder that fear is often the only thing holding us back. By taking small, intentional steps, you can build confidence, advocate for yourself, and achieve your career goals.
If you’re looking for more tips and inspiration, listen to the full podcast episode here:
🎙️ From a Woman to a Leader Podcast
Let’s Stay Connected!
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Take the first step today.
Don’t let fear hold you back.
You’ve got this! 💪
About Merve:
Merve Hokamp is a seasoned executive and business coach, dedicated to helping leaders amplify their business impact, build high-trust, high-performance teams, and achieve their career aspirations. With over a decade of leadership experience at Google and a strong foundation in strategy consulting, Merve blends her expertise with a deep understanding of personal and professional growth.
Her international journey began in Istanbul, Turkey, and has taken her across the globe, studying and working in countries like the U.S., France, Austria, and Singapore. Now based in Dublin, Ireland, she continues to embrace her multicultural background, inspiring others to thrive in diverse environments.
Merve is an ICF and EMCC-accredited coach with a rich background in management consulting, digital marketing, and business development. She’s also a mentor, facilitator, and trainer with accolades such as Google’s “Top Manager Award” and “Culture Ambassador Award.”
In addition to her professional achievements, Merve brings a unique mind-body connection to her coaching practice, drawing on her experience as a yoga and pilates instructor. Her passion for lifelong learning, travel, and personal development fuels her mission to empower individuals and teams to unlock their potential and navigate challenges with confidence.
When she’s not coaching or mentoring, you’ll find Merve exploring new cultures, enjoying her favorite books, or spending quality time with her family.
Website: https://www.leadrisecoaching.com/
