You know you have something worth saying. You’ve seen other people post, speak up in meetings, and introduce themselves at conferences like it’s nothing, and you’ve thought, I should be doing more of that. But personal branding, when you’re shy, feels like it was built for someone else.
And then the voice shows up. Who would even listen to me? Why would anyone care what I have to say? It’s easy for her; she’s a natural. So you polish one more time, stay quiet one more time, and tell yourself you’ll do it when life calms down.
If that sounds familiar, I want you to know something: building your brand isn’t about becoming louder. It starts with that voice, and with the old story it keeps repeating.
This week on the From a Woman to a Leader podcast, I sat down with Anna Leizerovici Ekstein, Founder and CEO of The Glow Capital, a former VC Principal, and a shy girl who grew up singing in a choir and went on to become a top salesperson. We recorded at the Google for Startups studio in Tel Aviv.
But we didn’t talk about posting schedules or LinkedIn hacks. We talked about what happens inside your head before you ever show up, and Anna even led me through an inner child exercise live, where I got more honest than I expected.
“Below are the insights from our conversation, with my own experience and concrete steps you can take this week.”
1. You Don’t Have to Be Loud to Be Great at Sales or Visibility
Anna describes herself as a very shy girl growing up, a nerd whose hero was Harry Potter, singing in a choir with not too many friends. When she went into sales, she didn’t change her personality. She noticed her real strength, that she understands people, and then she watched others and practiced.
“I was like, okay, I’m not good at this, but I don’t care. I will learn how to be good.”
She also believes her quieter way of selling works better today than the old style:
“The pushy way, the very aggressive, let’s say, sales method, I think it’s not working anymore because people smell it.”
I’ll be honest, I used to believe a salesperson had to be the macho, extroverted type. Here’s what I see again and again with the women I coach: they disqualify themselves from sales, from visibility, from leadership roles, because they don’t match a picture in their head. But if you have people skills and you genuinely want to help, that picture is wrong. Your quiet way might be exactly what works now.
How to apply this: Write down one thing you’re “not good at” that’s holding you back, like speaking up in meetings or talking about your work. Next to it, write the strength you already have that could carry it (listening, preparation, reading people). This week, use that strength once in that situation.
2. Personal Branding When You’re Shy Starts With the Voice in Your Head
Anna calls her approach “personal brandfulness.” She used to teach people how to use LinkedIn, how to speak to the camera and how to work the algorithm. Today she starts somewhere else.
“Today understand that it’s more about mindset and about your confidence in yourself and the voices you have in your head.”
And she described the voices most of us know too well:
“If you speak to yourself like I cannot do this or I’m not good enough, who will listen to me anyway? Why should someone care about what I have to say? Then you will not be able to be out there and impact others.”
This is where women get stuck. They try to fix the outside, the profile photo, the perfect post, the right words, while the inside is still telling them they don’t deserve to be seen. Sound familiar? The external work matters, but it won’t stick until you’ve looked at what you believe about yourself.
How to apply this: For one week, catch the exact sentence your mind says right before you hold back. Write it down word for word. Seeing it on paper is the first step to questioning it.
3. Why So Many Women Forget Their Own Voice
I asked Anna why this matters even more for women. Her answer was about balance: career, family, everything at once.
“I think it makes a lot of women forget themselves, forget their voice, forget their strength.”
She hears the same lines again and again: I don’t have the time, this is life, I don’t have what it takes, it’s easy for you. And she’s seen the shift happen when people stop accepting that story:
“I’m taking responsibility now. I’m not the victim anymore.”
What I love about how Anna frames this is that taking responsibility isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about noticing where you’ve decided “this is just how it is” and asking if that’s really true. Many of the women I work with are so busy holding everything together that their own voice quietly drops off the list.
How to apply this: Pick one place where you’ve told yourself “I don’t have time” for your own visibility, a post, a talk, a conversation with your manager. Give it 20 minutes this week, on your calendar, like any other meeting.
4. The Little Girl Who Still Shows Up in the Room
This is the part of the episode I didn’t plan. Anna works with inner child tools, and she explained why:
“We look from the outside as adults, but in each of us there is a small child who has some thoughts, feelings, and things that are burned into our skin and we still walk with it in this world.”
Then she asked me to close my eyes. What came up was a picture of me at four or five, at a birthday party, with two ponytails, holding a goodie bag and standing on the side. It was loud, there were lots of kids, and I remember thinking, what am I doing here?
When Anna asked if I’d felt that as an adult too, I said, “I still do.” I still have a little bit of social anxiety. I speak at conferences, and I usually go to conferences abroad where I don’t know anyone. I put myself in those situations on purpose. I still feel out of place, but I’m doing it from the conscious place and not from the subconscious. I know I’m very good one on one and in small groups, so I look for those people in the crowd.
I’m sharing this because so many women think that feeling means they don’t belong in the room. It doesn’t. It means a younger version of you is still trying to protect you.
How to apply this: Before your next event or big meeting, set one small goal: one real conversation with one person. Not working the room. Just one. Then notice that you did it while the feeling was still there.
5. A Layoff Is a Fact. “I’m Not Good Enough” Is a Story.
Anna explained what happens inside us when something hard happens, using the example of being fired. First the body reacts. Then comes the automatic interpretation, often something we felt as kids, “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t belong.” Only then do we feel ashamed or embarrassed, and only then do we react.
“The fact that somebody fired me now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t belong, or it doesn’t mean that I’m not good enough. It doesn’t mean, it means that they fired me. Maybe something happened in the company. Maybe they have difficulties. Maybe there is AI that took my job. I don’t know. It doesn’t say anything about my worth.”
So many talented women in tech have been through layoffs this year, and I see how quickly the event turns into a verdict about who they are. The work is in that middle step, the interpretation. That’s where you can stop the cycle before it turns into weeks of staying home and not wanting to talk to anyone.
How to apply this: Next time something stings, a layoff, a rejection, a harsh comment, write two lines. Line one: what actually happened, just the facts. Line two: the story your mind added. Then ask yourself whether line two is really true.
6. Ask Who’s Talking, Then Pause
This was my favorite moment of the whole conversation. Anna shared the question she asks herself before she reacts:
“Wait a second, is adult Anna speaking now or another child who felt maybe unseen or that nobody saw her? Or that she wasn’t good enough. So and then when you stop and you understand that there is another voice speaking, sometimes you can actually choose how to react.”
And when I asked her for one step women can take today, her answer was simple: learn to stop more.
“Saying our truth is very important and being ourself is important. But how you say it and from which place is only if you learn how to stop and wait a second.”
She gave an example every parent will recognize, shouting back at your kid and then feeling bad, versus waiting a second and finding a creative way to change the situation. It’s the same at work. The email you send in the heat of the moment, the comment in the meeting you wish you could take back. As she put it, most of the time the story in our head isn’t even reality.
How to apply this: Pick one trigger this week, a certain person, a type of email, a meeting. When it shows up, take one breath and ask, “Who’s answering right now?” Then answer from the adult you.
About Anna Leizerovici Ekstein
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein is the Founder and CEO of The Glow Capital, which helps founders, VCs and corporates stop blending in by putting the humans behind them in the spotlight. She grew up performing on stages around the world as a singer, then built her career in sales and business development. She was Principal and Head of Business Development at Mobilion Ventures, where she led value creation and marketing strategy for the fund, and before that worked in global business development at cybersecurity unicorn Axonius, in investment banking at Excellence Investment House, and on the founding team of LABS Israel (acquired by Azrieli). She is Managing Director of the BizdevExec community of over 500 VP-level executives, founder of The GLOWERS Community and the Personal Brandfulness coaching method, and a speaker, mentor and advocate for women in tech.
- Website: theglowcapital.com
- LinkedIn: Anna Leizerovici Ekstein
What I Took From This Conversation
I went into this episode expecting to talk about personal branding, and I came out thinking about the little girl with the goodie bag. What Anna helped me see is that the feeling of not belonging doesn’t have to disappear before you show up. You don’t need to become a different person, louder or more polished. You need to notice who’s talking, separate what happened from the story you’re telling yourself, and choose your reaction from the adult you. That’s where real visibility starts.
You Don’t Have to Figure This Out Alone
If you’re reading this and recognizing yourself, the one who stays quiet in the big meeting, who knows she’s ready but keeps waiting to feel ready, who hears “who would listen to me?” every time she thinks about putting herself out there, I want you to know you don’t have to work through this by yourself. I work with women in tech every day on exactly these questions: how to be seen, how to talk about your work, and how to go for the next role without pretending to be someone else.
Book a promotion strategy call, and we’ll figure out your next move together.
Where to Start
Catch the sentence. Write down, word for word, what your mind says right before you hold back.
Separate the fact from the story. When something stings, write what happened, then the story you added, and question the second one.
Pause and ask who’s talking. Before you react, take one breath and ask whether it’s the adult you or the little girl answering.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is personal brandfulness? Personal brandfulness is Anna Leizerovici Ekstein’s approach to personal branding that starts with mindset, self-talk and confidence before any platform tactics. Instead of beginning with LinkedIn hacks or camera skills, it focuses on the voices in your head and the beliefs about yourself that decide whether you show up at all.
How do I build a personal brand if I’m shy or introverted? You build a personal brand when you’re shy by working on the voice in your head first, then using the strengths you already have. Many shy and introverted people are strong listeners and good at reading people, which makes their visibility more authentic. Start small, one post or one conversation, and notice the self-talk that tries to stop you.
Can introverts be good at sales? Yes, introverts can be very good at sales, especially today. Anna Leizerovici Ekstein was a shy choir girl who became a top salesperson by understanding people, watching others and practicing. She believes the old pushy sales style no longer works because people can feel when it isn’t authentic.
How do I stop negative self-talk from holding me back at work? You stop negative self-talk by noticing the exact sentence before you hold back and questioning whether it’s true. Write it down word for word, separate the facts of the situation from the story you added, and ask whether the adult you or an old fear is speaking.
What is inner child work, and how can it help at work? Inner child work is a coaching approach that connects you with feelings and beliefs from childhood that still shape how you react as an adult. At work, it helps you recognize when an old feeling, like not belonging or not being good enough, is driving your reaction, so you can choose a different response.
How do I stop reacting emotionally at work? You stop reacting emotionally at work by pausing before you respond. Anna Leizerovici Ekstein’s one step is to “stop more”: take a second before you reply, assume or react, and look at the situation as it is rather than the story in your head. Then choose a response that fits you.
How do I cope with feeling like I’m not good enough after a layoff? Start by separating the fact of the layoff from the story your mind tells you about it. Being let go can happen for many reasons, company difficulties, restructuring or technology, and it doesn’t say anything about your worth. Noticing that first interpretation is how you stop shame from turning into withdrawal.
Who is Anna Leizerovici Ekstein? Anna Leizerovici Ekstein is the Founder and CEO of The Glow Capital and the creator of the Personal Brandfulness coaching method. She is a former Principal and Head of Business Development at Mobilion Ventures, previously worked at Axonius, and is Managing Director of the BizdevExec community of over 500 VP-level executives.
🎧 Listen to my conversation with Anna: Personal Branding Starts on the Inside
📺 Watch on YouTube: https://youtu.be/L02cnWEnb24
📝 Read more personal reflections on Substack
Full Transcript
Full transcript of my conversation with Anna Leizerovici Ekstein on the From a Woman to a Leader podcast. Lightly edited for readability, with filler words and false starts removed and wording otherwise unchanged.
Is that the adult you speaking, or the child who felt unseen?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (00:00): Before I react to something, I’m saying, wait a second, is adult Anna speaking now or another child who felt maybe unseen or that nobody saw her? Or that she wasn’t good enough. And then when you stop and you understand that there is another voice speaking, sometimes you can actually choose how to react.
Limor Bergman Gross (00:26): Hi and welcome to another episode of From a Woman to a Leader. I’m your host, Limor Bergman Gross. And a question for you. Have you ever held yourself back because there was this voice in your head that told you, why should they listen to me? My guest today is Anna Leizerovici Ekstein. Anna is the founder and CEO of The Glow Capital. She’s a shy girl who became a touring singer and then a top salesperson, and she worked with VCs and founders. In the conversation today, we talk about personal branding but in a different angle, not about social media and posting, more about the internal work. What’s going on inside your head? How to catch old stories that are holding you back before you react. And Anna even takes me through an inner child exercise live. And for any of you who feels maybe out of place in some of the rooms, you question yourself, this episode is for you. So you ready? Let’s dive right in.
From touring singer to sales, startups and VC
Limor Bergman Gross (01:52): Hi everyone and welcome to another episode of From a Woman to a Leader. Before we start, I want to thank Google for Startups for hosting us here at their beautiful studio in Tel Aviv. So thank you, Google for Startups. And hi Anna.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (02:05): Hi, good morning.
Limor Bergman Gross (02:06): Good morning. How are you?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (02:08): Great. Amazing to be here. Thank you for hosting me.
Limor Bergman Gross (02:11): Thank you so much for being here. And we’re gonna talk today about a topic that is always relevant for women, branding, personal branding. And I really like the term that you used, personal brandfulness.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (02:27): Yes. So this is a new one.
Limor Bergman Gross (02:29): A new one, yeah. And we’re gonna talk about it. Before we get there, tell us a little bit about your background, because you told me you were a singer.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (02:38): Yes.
Limor Bergman Gross (02:39): So tell us a little bit about that.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (02:45): So actually, when I was younger I started as a singer. I was on stages. I performed all over the world since I was very young, ten years old. So I was used to go to world tours and to singing many languages, more than ten languages. I was singing in a choir and also as a soloist. So this is the way I grew up, and the stage and performance was always part of who I was. So I took all this knowledge and all this passion for performance and being in the front to the business world, and this is exactly where I went to sales, business development and interactions with people.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (03:30): So for the past decade I was working with startups in the high tech ecosystem, also in the cyber security unicorn, and for the past six years in a VC. So I worked with investors and a lot of global investors as well, and founders of startups, helping them to grow, to market themselves, with the go to market and all the strategies they need in order to expand their business and sales. And a year ago I moved to Thailand and I decided to reinvent myself, and I opened my new brand, which is The Glow Capital, and personal brandfulness is exactly what we do, and I will elaborate on that in a moment.
How does a shy girl end up in personal branding?
Limor Bergman Gross (04:20): So how does a shy girl that is a singer get to personal branding?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (04:23): So that’s interesting because I was a very shy girl. My hero was Harry Potter when I was young, I was a nerd, let’s face it. So I was a girl singing in a choir, not too many friends. But then after I went to the tests of the army, I got accepted to the army band, which was very prestigious, like the 8200 unit in the army for tech people. So as a singer to get into the army band in Israel was like a dream come true. I never imagined I would be able to get in. So then I realized, whoa, I can do much more than I can imagine. It was the first time, I think, I started to believe in myself and my capabilities that were beyond what I was thinking about myself.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (05:11): So then after that, when I came back after the army, I lived a year abroad in sales. I was selling Dead Sea products. And then I realized that I’m pretty good with people, that I have this kind of thing. I read them, I understand them, I really try to help them to get to where they want, and I was very good in sales. So when I came back to Israel, I decided that this is what I want to do. I wasn’t a professional singer anymore, but for me the sales and the interaction with the people was the same feeling as performing and as being on the stage, because it gave me a lot of opportunities to help others and to bring impact, which is exactly the same feeling I was feeling on the stage. So that’s the connection.
Can a shy person be great at sales?
Limor Bergman Gross (06:05): Wow, that’s incredible. And I wanna emphasize something here, because you mentioned being in sales while still being shy. So how do you explain that? Shyfulness and being a salesperson, how does it work together?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (06:21): So I think that the first part was actually understanding my strengths. Even though I was shy, I understood that I understand people. So from the moment I realized that, I also watched others, how they do it. So I learned. I’m very agile. So if I see that something works, I do it again and again and again, and I improved myself very fast. So some people are like stuck in their own limitations, they’re like, okay, I’m not good at this or this. And I never told myself that. I was like, okay, I’m not good at this, but I don’t care. I will learn how to be good. So I watched others and I said, if they can do it, I can do it. So that’s the moment when I said, okay, let’s try to do this. And I started to mimic some things and I started to use my own powers to make it my own thing.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (07:23): And I sold a lot. It was the first time also in my life that I made a lot of money, and I felt like I’m the queen of the world. Whoa, making so much money at this age and at this stage of my life gave me a lot of confidence. And I felt like, that’s interesting. I can buy myself whatever I want. I can travel wherever I want. So I think this was a very interesting point with myself, with my inner self, to prove myself that I can, if I truly want and believe I can do this.
Limor Bergman Gross (07:56): I absolutely agree with you. I have actually a sentence on my WhatsApp: if you have a strong why, nothing can stop you except yourself. And it seems like you live that, right? You’re saying, I can do it, I can learn it. I wish I had that when I was very young, because I think most people, actually most of us, tell this story. I am not this, I’m not this, I don’t have this, and we limit ourselves. And your story is living proof that yeah, you can learn. And I think I’m just emphasizing this sales because we have this, at least I did, had this perception that the salesperson has to be like men, macho, extrovert, whatever it is, and it doesn’t have to be that way. And if you have people skills and you want to help and serve people, you can be an incredible salesperson even though you are a very different personality.
Why the pushy sales style doesn’t work anymore
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (08:56): I agree. And I can tell that being shy, or even being an introvert, or someone who’s not a people’s person or needs a lot of people around all the time, I think it even nowadays makes a higher impact. Because the old sales way, let’s call it like this, the pushy way, the very aggressive, let’s say, sales method, I think it’s not working anymore, because people smell it. People feel it’s not authentic and it doesn’t work anymore. So I think in a way I was doing this ahead of time. I was inventing my own new sales, quiet and impactful way to sell, but actually help people and give them something they need, rather than just push them no matter what. Push them to something they don’t really want, and after that they come home and they’re like, why did I buy this? What have I done?
What is personal brandfulness?
Limor Bergman Gross (09:55): So what is brandfulness? What does it mean?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (09:59): Okay. So personal brandfulness is first of all understanding that we as people, I think nowadays even more with the AI, we need to not only be connected to ourselves, but also to our soul and to our deeper and back mind, let’s call it like that. So if in the past I was telling people only, okay, how to work with LinkedIn or with any platform you work on, and how to speak to the camera and how to use the algorithm, or what are the hacks, today I understand that it’s more about mindset, and about your confidence in yourself and the voices you have in your head. Because if you speak to yourself like, I cannot do this, or I’m not good enough, who will listen to me anyway? Why should someone care about what I have to say? Then you will not be able to be out there and impact others. But the moment you switch that, and you work on your confidence and your self-speaking, then you can improve and move from just being self-centric focus to, let’s bring it to others, let’s make an impact.
Limor Bergman Gross (11:16): So what I’m hearing from you, it’s like, when we think about personal branding, we think about the external things, right? Of how we present ourselves externally on LinkedIn or whatever, and you’re saying it’s actually a combination of internal work also on ourselves, on our beliefs, on how we see ourselves, before we even put ourselves out there. I love that.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (11:40): Yes, exactly. So it’s first looking inside, doing the work, knowing ourselves, and only then, after a small episode of also healing sometimes, because it might bring some things from the past or from childhood, or whatever relationships we had in our life, traumas, whatever. There is a healing phase, but then after you pass this, you’re open. Your mind becomes open and then you can take it out. So it’s exactly this combination. It’s not only about personal branding, but also identity. It’s the combination.
Why do so many women forget their own voice?
Limor Bergman Gross (12:21): And why is it important specifically for women? And you said you work with founders, with VCs. Why is it important even more so for women entrepreneurs?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (12:36): I believe that women, because of the history and today, with women having a career and having also a family, so all this kind of life balance, I think it makes a lot of women forget themselves, forget their voice, forget their strength. Sometimes I would even say compromising, or saying like, this is life. This is life, I don’t have the time, I don’t have whatever, what it takes, right? Sometimes I hear, I don’t have what it takes. You, this is what you do, you were all your life on stages, it’s easy for you. I cannot do this. And I say this all the time. I prove them wrong, because I believe everybody can do that.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (13:25): And I’ve seen people, like, broke with no money, even broken families, that they grow out of it, and their story and their gift in life, once they take responsibility on their life and choices, and they actually deal with it and understand, okay, I’m taking responsibility now. I’m not the victim anymore. I don’t want to be the victim. Then this is the phase where they start to shift their mind and to see the good, to see the opportunity that is within this kind of pain, or I cannot do this stage. And I think this is the most interesting and fascinating part in my work, to see how a person, and especially women, after giving birth or whatever, having a family, turning from being the victim to being an influencer, being someone who helps others. That’s exciting for me.
A live inner child exercise
Limor Bergman Gross (14:23): And I can’t wait to do a live experiment with you, and I said to Anna, I’m willing to be completely vulnerable here, so let’s do it.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (14:33): Yes, do a live demonstration. One of the tools I work with a lot, of coaching and mental tools, to help me to get some subconscious concepts and interpretations the person in front of me has, one of them is the inner child. I believe that we are all adults. We look from the outside as adults, but in each of us there is a small child who has some thoughts, feelings, and things that are burned into our skin, and we still walk with it in this world. So let’s do a small demonstration. I want you to close your eyes. Okay, let’s take three deep breaths.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (15:17): Okay, now I want you to imagine yourself when you were a young girl, from an image in an old album or something you remember in your mind, a situation. Try to imagine what you were wearing at the exact time, how your hair looked like, how the environment looked like. Were you standing, sitting on the floor?
Limor Bergman Gross (15:55): I have a very vivid image.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (15:56): Wow. And now I want you to try to connect to this inner little girl. What is she feeling now? What she wants to tell you.
Limor Bergman Gross (16:08): She feels out of place, that little girl.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (16:13): What is that feeling? What do you mean by out of place?
Limor Bergman Gross (16:18): So the image I have is me, maybe I was four or five, at a birthday party, and I was holding, I don’t know if you remember, in birthday parties they were giving some goodie bag.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (16:34): Yeah, of course.
Limor Bergman Gross (16:35): And I was holding a goodie bag. I was cute, with two ponytails, how it’s called, and I have a vivid image even of the picture, which I couldn’t find. I looked for it in my photo albums of my parents. And I was in a birthday party, holding this goodie bag and standing relatively on the side, and feeling that I don’t belong. It was very loud, a lot of kids. What am I doing here?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (17:15): Yeah. That’s an example of a feeling that was, if you remember it until today, probably you felt it also when you grew up.
Limor Bergman Gross (17:26): I still do.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (17:27): Yeah. So this is an example of a feeling. Normally when I do this kind of meditations, it’s much longer and we go much deeper. It was just a small demonstration, just to let you feel how live it is. How, when you close your eyes and you imagine it, it’s like you are there right now. It’s so strong, the subconscious works so strong.
What happens between “you’re fired” and how you react
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (17:55): And I believe that this feeling is sometimes even managing you. And sometimes when you react to the world, because we have this kind of set of things that happen in specific situations, right? There is a situation, let’s say for example, somebody is firing me, okay? Me. So there is an incident. And then there is my body. I feel it in my body. I might feel some pain in my fingers or in my stomach, or I will feel like, I don’t know, the floor disappears, right? There is something that happens in my body. I hear it, or I read this message, you are fired, right? So first of all the body reacts. And then there is the automatic interpretation that we give to this.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (18:50): And normally what goes up is this kind of things that we felt also when we were kids. They come up, and then there is like this, I’m not good enough, or this kind of self, I don’t belong. So this kind of things that always been there are coming as a first interpretation, and only then we feel. So we might feel ashamed, we might feel embarrassed or whatever, and only then we will react to it. So the reaction is the last thing that happens. Our body goes first, then our interpretation, and this is exactly what I’m trying to work with with my clients. The first interpretation of the situation.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (19:41): Because when you understand that the fact that somebody fired me now, it doesn’t mean that I don’t belong, or it doesn’t mean that I’m not good enough. It means that they fired me. Maybe something happened in the company. Maybe they have difficulties. Maybe there is AI that took my job. I don’t know. It doesn’t say anything about my worth. Then you don’t go through all the shame and all the rest of the process that might bring you to a reaction of sitting at home depressed, I don’t know, don’t want to talk to anybody or whatever. So I think that this phase is very crucial, and through internal work we go to all these kinds of beliefs that are managing our day to day, our reactions or interpretations of situations.
Who’s talking right now, the adult you or the child?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (20:30): So I think this is a very powerful stage, and once you see it. So for example, if something happens to me today, I can tell. It’s very interesting when I talk to myself. Before I react to something, I’m saying, wait a second, is adult Anna speaking now, or another child who felt maybe unseen, or that nobody saw her? Or that she wasn’t good enough. And then when you stop and you understand that there is another voice speaking, sometimes you can actually choose how to react. And this is exactly what I do with this personal brandfulness. I tell people, okay, you sit at home, you’re depressed, you don’t want to do anything. But I’m telling you, if you want to change your reaction, you need to go back, back, back to your interpretation, and then stop the cycle. That’s the way I see it. And then people, after we change the interpretation, they change the reaction. They start writing, they start sharing, they start having a purpose to wake up every day and say, I want to give back. I don’t want to look at myself and be the victim anymore. I’m done with being the victim.
Limor on social anxiety and walking into rooms where she knows no one
Limor Bergman Gross (21:47): That’s very powerful. I can share that I think I may have, or still have, a little bit of social anxiety. So I still feel that little girl in me, and I actually put myself specifically in those situations on purpose, that are very uncomfortable. So I speak at conferences, and usually I go to a conference abroad and I don’t know anyone. And this is exactly, I put myself deliberately in the situations where I feel very out of place, exactly like I described to you, as this little girl holding the goodie bag. And what happens is I still feel that way. But I’m doing it from the conscious place and not from the subconscious. So when I come and say, yeah, I know it’s very, very uncomfortable, I know it’s terrifying me, but I’m still gonna do that. And I think that helps. And I know that I’m very good with people, especially in small groups or one on one, and I try to find those people usually in the crowd, because it’s very intimidating to me going into a large crowd.
One step you can take today: the power of the pause
Limor Bergman Gross (22:58): So for women that listen to us today, is there one step you can recommend they can do today?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (23:05): Yeah, I have a really good one, which helped me also recently with a lot of struggles I have on my own. I think that the main thing is to learn to stop more. And what do I mean by that? I realize that some of the worst things that happen to us happen because we don’t stop. If my kid is shouting now, and I shouted back, like, shh, don’t shout here, or whatever, and then I feel bad, I’m losing at the end, because I feel bad. But if I was waiting for a second before my reaction of shh, or whatever things I heard at home, and just tried to bring a toy or something to change the situation in a creative way, I would have felt much better after, right?
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (23:55): So just stopping before we shout back, before we react, before we insult, just to be more conscious about this stop, and then choosing the right way that fits us, not necessarily others. Saying our truth is very important and being ourself is important. But how you say it and from which place is only if you learn how to stop and wait a second. So stop more before you react and before you interpret the other person or situation, because sometimes our little voice here speaks so much and we make a full story, and it’s even not reality. Most of the time it’s not reality. The other person doesn’t really understand what we want from them. So just stop and look at the situation as it is, and react from a place you choose, your way.
Where to find Anna Leizerovici Ekstein
Limor Bergman Gross (24:58): Love this. And call it the power of the pause.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (25:02): Yeah, it’s powerful.
Limor Bergman Gross (25:04): Thank you so much for giving us a tool. And Anna, before we end today, tell our women that listen to us where they can find you and learn more about you.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (25:13): Yes, sure. So I’m very active on LinkedIn. I have a lot of tips there and a lot of things that I’m doing, and nowadays I’m also working on my Instagram, so I will be available there. There is also the website of The Glow Capital, so I’ll be happy to get messages or questions from anyone. You’re welcome to join meditations and practices I do online, free of charge, just to help.
Limor Bergman Gross (25:42): Fantastic. And thank you so much, Anna. It’s been a pleasure.
Anna Leizerovici Ekstein (25:46): It was very fun. Thank you so much for the opportunity.