Short answer: Most women in tech who feel stuck aren’t stuck because they’re not good enough. They’re stuck because they’re waiting — doing excellent work and assuming the recognition will follow. Getting promoted comes down to four things: making your impact visible to the people who decide, being seen as strategic and not just a strong executor, building relationships and influence before you need them, and actually asking for what you want instead of waiting to be offered it. Below is how to do each one, step by step.
Let me take you back to something I see almost every week.
A woman comes to me. She’s smart. She’s delivering. She’s the person her team relies on when things get hard. And she’s frustrated, because the promotion she’s been expecting keeps slipping away, and no one can quite tell her why. She’s been told to “speak up more” and “be more visible,” but no one has told her what that actually means or how to do it.
I know that feeling because I lived it. I spent over 20 years in tech, including as a Director of Engineering, and for a long time, I did exactly what she’s doing. I worked hard, I delivered, and I waited for someone to notice. It took me years to realize I was being passive about my own career — waiting for permission instead of taking ownership of where I was going.
So if that’s where you are right now, here’s what I wish someone had told me sooner.
1. Make your impact visible to the people who actually decide
Here’s the uncomfortable truth: the people who decide on your promotion often don’t see most of what you do. They see outcomes, and they see the people who connect their work to those outcomes out loud.
Visibility isn’t bragging. It’s making sure the right people understand the value you create. That can be as simple as sharing a short update on a project’s business impact, speaking in the meeting where the decision is being shaped rather than just doing the work that feeds it, or making sure your manager can clearly repeat what you’ve accomplished when your name comes up in a room you’re not in.
If your work is invisible to decision-makers, it can’t be rewarded. So the first step is to stop assuming good work speaks for itself, because it usually doesn’t.
2. Be seen as strategic, not just a great executor
A lot of women in tech get stuck in the “she’s amazing at getting things done” box. That sounds like a compliment, but it can quietly keep you at the same level, because execution is what you do now, and promotion is about what you’d do next.
To be seen as ready for the next level, start showing the thinking behind the work, not just the work. Connect what you’re building to where the business is going. Ask the bigger questions in the room. Offer a point of view on direction, not only delivery. You want the people above you to start picturing you in the more senior role — and they can only do that if they’ve heard you operate at that level.
3. Build relationships and influence before you need them
Promotions are rarely decided in the moment you ask. They’re shaped over months, in conversations you’re not part of, by people who form an impression of you over time.
That’s why influence has to be built before you need it. Get to know peers and leaders across the organization, not just your own team. Be genuinely useful to people. Make sure decision-makers know who you are and what you’re working toward well before review season. None of this means becoming someone you’re not — and if you’re more introverted or quiet, it can be done in a way that fits you, through one-on-one conversations rather than working a room. The point is simple: relationships are part of the job, not a distraction from it.
4. Actually ask — and ask clearly
This is the one that’s hardest for a lot of women, and it’s often the difference-maker. You can do everything else right and still be passed over because you never made it clear what you wanted.
So name it. Tell your manager directly that you’re aiming for the next level, and ask what specifically it would take to get there. Get the criteria. Then make your progress against those criteria visible over time, so that by the time the decision is made, the answer is already obvious. Waiting to be offered a promotion puts your career in someone else’s hands. Asking puts it back in yours.
To make that ask easier, I put together a free Promotion Justification Template that walks you through laying out your case in writing, backed by impact. It’s the same one I use with clients.
What’s really getting in the way
If you read those four steps and thought, “I know all this — I just don’t do it,” you’re not alone. That’s the real gap. There’s a lot of advice out there telling women to be more visible and more confident. There’s far less that helps you actually do it when you’re shy, when you’re in a male-dominated field, when self-promotion feels like bragging, or when you’ve spent years being the reliable one who never asks for anything.
That’s the work I do with clients. Not generic advice, but the specific next step for your specific situation — the conversation you’re avoiding, the meeting where you stay quiet, the ask you keep postponing.
Because here’s what I believe, and what I’ve seen over and over: you’re rarely stuck because you’re not capable. You’re stuck because you’re waiting. And the moment you stop waiting and start taking ownership, things begin to move.
You have what it takes. The work now is to start.
Free tool: Grab the Promotion Justification Template — a fill-in-the-blanks guide to build your written case for the next level.
Want help putting this into practice?
I’m Limor Bergman Gross, an executive and leadership coach for women in tech and a former Director of Engineering. I work one-on-one with women in engineering, product, and technical leadership who are ready for their next level. If you’re doing great work but the recognition isn’t following, let’s talk.
👉 Book your free 30-minute promotion strategy call
Frequently asked questions
How long does it take to get promoted in tech?
It varies, but if you’ve been delivering strong work for a year or more without progress, the blocker is usually visibility, positioning, or not having clearly asked — not your performance. Once those shift, change can happen within a review cycle or two.
How do I get promoted if I’m an introvert?
Visibility and influence don’t require becoming loud. Introverts often build influence more effectively through consistent one-on-one relationships, clear written updates, and speaking with intention in key moments rather than trying to dominate every room.
Should I ask for a promotion or wait to be offered one?
Ask. Waiting to be offered a promotion leaves your career in someone else’s hands. Telling your manager what you’re aiming for and getting the specific criteria puts you back in control and makes the eventual decision easier.
Can a coach really help me get promoted?
A coach can’t promote you, but a good one helps you see the patterns holding you back, build the visibility and influence that decisions are based on, and take the steps you already know you should take — usually far faster than figuring it out alone.